10 Things that Happen When You Love a Military Member

When you love someone in the military, married or not, there are a lot of things that happen.

Even getting a little glimpse into military life can offer some peace and solace for what to expect.

Obviously, this list is not comprehensive. There will be other hurdles, struggles, and even joys.

But here are just 10 things that happen when you love someone in the military.

1. You enter a whole new world

Acronyms, phrases, slang, and more. Their vocabulary is different.

Rank structure and chain of command are words you’ve never heard before, but are vital to the function of the military.

If your life is touched directly by the military, you might feel like you live in a completely different world.

Even most bases can fully function as a mini city.

2. There are more questions than answers

The questions can range anywhere from ”when will we PCS next?” to “why can’t they get the leave they requested?”

Answers come, just not always as quick as you hope.

And not always the answers you want.

3. Things have to get serious faster

Starting a relationship without the military being a factor usually gives you the chance to take your time and feel out your comfort zone before making lasting commitments.

But when the military comes into play, it cannot be ignored. It’s impossible to ignore it.

You might face the marriage question A LOT earlier than you anticipated. Potentially by years.

And that can be intense.

It’s a fact that comes with the lifestyle, even though it sucks.

Here are some questions for couples wanting to get married to help you ease some worries and get questions answered!

4. The military has a lot of control over their life

The military chooses where they’re needed, when they’re needed, and how they need their help.

Heck, they even control what goes into their bodies.

Unfortunately, very few things can change that.

5. Sometimes you don’t know if it’s the last time you’ll see them

This is by far the worst part of this life.

You might get lucky, and never experience this. I genuinely hope you are never faced with this.

This is, in my opinion, the scariest part.

Part of their duty to serve their country is to potentially put their life on the line. And it’s important that you know that.

It doesn’t mean they don’t love you, but rather that they have a responsibility to serve.

6. Changes might happen faster than you can process them

Picture this. You are finally getting familiar with your new city, you’re making friends, and then you get orders to move in 4 months.

This one is difficult.

Grieving a move, loss of friendship, deployment extension, or anything else the military might throw at you means you might not be given any time at all to process the big changes happening.

7. You appreciate even the smallest of things

5 minutes on the phone with them during a deployment.

One text from a friend asking how you’re holding up.

The fact that they have your favorite chain restaurant in your city.

Somehow, in the craziness of it all, the little things are so much more valuable.

8. You’ll see 100 different shades of green

I guess this depends on the branch…so maybe for you it’s 100 shades of blue.

But regardless, you’ll see them all.

And the best part is that, sometimes, even just the wrong shade will get them into trouble.

9. Your plans are at the mercy of the military

Making concrete plans is virtually impossible once you start planning over 6 months out.

Timelines change constantly.

Don’t get me wrong, I am an avid planner. I make lots of plans far out.

But I’ve learned that concrete plans are hard to make with the unpredictability of the military.

10. You will always have a community of milsos behind

Yes, there are sometimes salty or rude significant others out there that like to bring people down.

BUT. I know of SO MANY milsos out there that are so understanding, loving, and welcoming.

Your people are out there. You might not have found them yet, but they are out there.

And I am here with you. ❤️


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