The Most Important Lesson I’ve Learned as a Milso

The one consistent aspect of military life is inconsistency.

That is just a straight fact. Plans can change at any given time, and life can feel like it gets turned around on its head just as often.

Knowing this, the most important lesson I have learned (so far) as a military spouse is to LET GO.

Let go of the preconceived ideas.

Playing the comparison game helps no one. It leaves you with doubt, guilt, and disappointment.

With that being said, you don’t have to expect that military life will be horrible and miserable.

Someone had a negative experience with it? They are NOT you, and cannot experience your life for you.

Someone got stationed at your dream base, and you didn’t? I don’t want you to long for something that’s out of your control.

LET GO of the “perfect” military life vision, LET GO of the horror stories, and live YOUR life.

Let go of the “typical” life.

Military life, whether you’re a spouse, significant other, or a mil kid, means that life will be different.

I love my family and the memories we share together. That includes the new places we’ve lived, the joyful reunions after separation, and the proud moments when he accomplishes a new feat.

Longing for a different lifestyle helps no one. Especially not you.

Instead, try to embrace the new and unique experiences you will have.

Military life is as unique as it gets.

Even through the challenges and unknown, LET GO of your vision of the typical lifestyle, and enjoy the uniqueness of your experiences!

Let go of the things I can’t control.

There are things in my life that I have control over.

My reactions, my words, the way I treat others…

But when it comes to the military, I do not have control over where we move or when we move there.

I cannot control when my service member goes into work or how long he’ll need to stay.

There are so many things that I do not have control over.

Remember, you should allow yourself the space to be frustrated when you need to be, but don’t get stuck over things you simply cannot change.

Knowing what I cannot control, and then letting go of that, has taught me so much about my own strength.

Through the inconsistencies, through the last-minute change of plans, through all of the unknown, LET GO.

Take this life, YOUR LIFE, and choose to see it in a hopeful and happy way.

Do you just need a moment to feel the suck?

I cannot tell you how much I hate when people tell me to “focus on the good”. Granted, sometimes that’s exactly what I need, but sometimes, I really just want validation.

I HIGHLY recommend my poetry book – the validation and understanding the words bring are incredible.

No matter what season of feeling you’re in, just know that I am here for you 🤍

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