All of these answers were shared with me on my Instagram by unmarried milso’s (military significant others).
Each response will be shared anonymously.
Remember, this is in no way to deter you from starting or continuing a relationship with a military member.
Rather, it is to help you know that you are NOT ALONE in your struggles and experiences.
“I feel more out of the loop compared to other spouses”
“I’m not fully being accepted by spouses”
“Less supportive services seem available”
“It’s harder to navigate base visits because you’re not a spouse”
“It doesn’t feel like you ‘count’ in the eyes of the military”
“I’m ‘just’ a girlfriend. A majority of resources are for couples and families with kids”
“There’s different treatment or concern during deployment because you’re not a spouse”
“Constantly being told to just get married already”
“Not knowing when it’s ok to be upset or frustrated at a situation”
“I’m not taken as seriously”
“Not feeling like a ‘real milso’ because we aren’t married yet”
“Not being able to live together on base…or get on base at all”
“People think long distance is easier just because we aren’t married yet. It’s still hard!”
“Feeling like you don’t belong in the spouse groups bc you aren’t married yet”
If you have felt any (or all) of these things, know that you are not alone.
I would recommend reading this blog post!
If you need any extra support, or have other questions, feel free to reach out to me!
