One day, I read a comment on my Instagram that read, “imagine being so boring that you use your spouses profession to define your identity”.
And that stopped me DEAD in my tracks.
Define my identity? Are you kidding me? They have no idea what I do all day, do they?
But honestly, that comment ate at me for so long. I really wish I could say I brushed it off, or just forgot about it, but that was almost five, yes FIVE, months ago.
And I still remember the exact wording to this day.
That’s why I’m here to remind you.
There is SO much more to you than “just being a milso”.
And if you truly think about it, there is no such thing as “just a milso” anyways.
Each one of us takes on other responsibilities in life.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, employee, nurse, friend…it’s nearly impossible to not have your own identity.
Each of us comes into our relationship with past experiences that have shaped us into who we are.
Regardless of if your person joined the military before or after you got together, you bring a unique outlook to the experience.
You might have been a mil kid, who’s grown up in 10 different states, knows a foreign language and has friends all over the world.
You might have never come across a military member until you met your partner.
Or you could have had an aunt or grandpa in the military, but that’s your only exposure.
Being a milso has immense value. But that’s not the only thing that makes up who you are.
There will always be things that set us apart as military spouses and loved ones. And that role is more valuable than some people realize!
Being a milso means that you have certain responsibilities you wouldn’t have otherwise.
Having your spouse’s SSN memorized better than your own, not being in control of where you live or when you move, and pretty much being at the mercy of the military.
There’s always the possibility in the back of our minds for deployment, long trainings, or sometimes just long work days.
There could even be fear of losing your loved one entirely.
But always remember – you are still you.
You are still a human being with feelings, wishes, goals, and plans.
You are still the father, mother, caregiver, spouse, friend, employee, teacher, creator…
And with all that is on our plates, it’s a true miracle if we make it to the end of each day without pulling our hair out or yelling at someone.
The ultimate goal is that you and your partner work as a team.
But just like the best teams, you each have a role and part to play.
One of their roles is to be the service member, and one of your roles is to be the support.
But that is just one role that you take on.
Let all of the parts of you shine.
Each one of them has shaped you into who you are today, including being a military spouse.
Embrace and take care of each hat you wear.
And remember, there is so much more to you than “just being a military spouse”.
Are you struggling to find your place in military life?
Honestly, it can be confusing and exhausted.
I’d be more than happy to help you rediscover and uncover how you can thrive and feel full of purpose and focus!